Field notes

Fragments, kept like pressed flowers.

Lines we overheard in the Circle and could not stop thinking about. Shared with permission. Names changed or shortened. A commonplace book of what women say when they finally feel allowed to say it.

On being a mother

"I love them and I am also disappearing."
S., 34
"I think I have been performing motherhood since the day they put her in my arms."
Anonymous
"The version of me my children will remember is not the one I was hoping to introduce them to."
M., 41

On exhaustion

"I am not tired. I am depleted. There is a difference and I am only just learning it."
Anonymous
"My rest looks like hiding. I want to learn what rest looks like when I am not hiding from anything."
L., 38
"Sometimes I cry in the car because it is the only place no one is asking me a question."
Anonymous

On coming back to yourself

"I forgot what I liked. Not what I should like. What I liked."
R., 36
"I am trying to listen to the part of me I used to call dramatic."
Anonymous
"I think I have been waiting for permission from someone who isn't coming."
J., 44

On the room itself

"I didn't realize how much of my life I was holding alone until I put a piece of it down here."
Anonymous
"I have not felt this seen in a room with a door, let alone a room without one."
K., 39